Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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