So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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