I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
