I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
