the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
