Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
