I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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