I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I died a long time ago.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?