bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.