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• (409): View more from Texas

  so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

  Fav 5 1082 1168

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today

  Fav 5 3407 866

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• (253): View more from Washington

  don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

  Fav 15 976 3195

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (916): View more from California

  day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

  Fav 16 4934 2260

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party

  Fav 11 5709 1428

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.

  Fav 9 1474 2573

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• (562): View more from California

  When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?

  Fav 3 1246 726

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.

  Fav 6 1206 638

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure

  Fav 2 617 849

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.

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