So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions