This girl is more easily done than said...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
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I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
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You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again