Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry

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  (309): dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry http://tfl.nu/gvg3
  Replies (20) Good night (679) Bad night (4577)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (4306) Bad night (1048)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

  (1-567): View more from Ohio

  How so?

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

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  (567): I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand.. (1-567): How so? (567): Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/38h3
  Replies (9) Good night (1125) Bad night (4143)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

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  (954): My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this? http://tfl.nu/pvqp
  Replies (43) Good night (4891) Bad night (2384)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'

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  (314): Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?' http://tfl.nu/xaro
  Replies (17) Good night (1211) Bad night (6492)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the worst part is we had a camera rolling

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to watch that.

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  (215): the worst part is we had a camera rolling (267): Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys? (215): Yes. (267): I have to watch that. http://tfl.nu/u325
  Replies (30) Good night (5479) Bad night (1551)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.

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  (419): is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately. http://tfl.nu/bi26
  Replies (3) Good night (2677) Bad night (844)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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  (248): noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life. http://tfl.nu/olll
  Replies (5) Good night (3714) Bad night (1315)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.

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  (618): You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/6eyp
  Replies (4) Good night (2345) Bad night (928)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.

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  (404): He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13. http://tfl.nu/mb7j
  Replies (13) Good night (8586) Bad night (1200)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.

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  (917): All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come. http://tfl.nu/y4z2
  Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (663)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We don't watch enough power rangers

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  (305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy
  Replies (7) Good night (815) Bad night (407)
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  (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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  (510): So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor. http://tfl.nu/fpi2
  Replies (1) Good night (1027) Bad night (394)
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  (415): View more from California

  If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will

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  (415): If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will http://tfl.nu/eboo
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (447)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.

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  (972): Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life. http://tfl.nu/3lzm
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (587)

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