Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
