he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Semen is not good for contacts.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
