Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
