I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
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the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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