hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
