Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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