i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
