Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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