my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
