you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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