Me. At least after what I've been through.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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