Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
