So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
