So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize