I bet he comes in French.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
