She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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