More tranny stories later!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize