If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
COCAINE IS GR8
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
