You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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