The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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