Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
