Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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