He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize