So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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