Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
