After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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