Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
