I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize