tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
