it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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