i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
