Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
