You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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