Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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