Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
