Do vagina's smell?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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