After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
