and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
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she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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