I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Rumble strips road head = magical
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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