i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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