Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
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I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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