It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
