Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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