i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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