Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
