if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
