doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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