Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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