went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
