o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
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Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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