So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
