After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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