Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
