i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so let's talk penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
